Wow... Has it Been That Long?

Well as you can see, it's been a bit busy lately and I have had a very difficult time trying to find a moment or two to collect my thoughts and bring them together to form anything of interest to write.

Lots of stuff going on! Too much it seems most days... And yet, I'm always trying to add more. My boss said it's one of my endearing traits... I volunteer for everything regardless of what it is, and then I end up drowning myself in too many things going on. I guess I just work best under pressure... although my heart seems to be telling me I need to slow down a bit. I got a checkup not too long ago and my blood pressure was far too high for comfort. So I have been really really trying to slow things up a bit (the key word here is "trying").

The funny thing is, I have had these great ideas for things I have wanted to write about. Lots of thoughts, and ideas that have been rolling through my mind over the past couple of months, and although I have the desire to share them with all of you, I cannot for the life of me remember what it was I wanted to blab about. So I'm hoping that one of these days it will come flooding back to me and I'll be able to throw it out here for the world to read.

I did finish this amazing book recently called, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". It proved to be quite the read and definitely got the brain going about stuff that I tend to keep packed away in the little dark corners of my mind. Definitely one to challenge your thought process and ideals about the things one places value in in this world.

I haven't ever really considered myself to be a philosophy nut, although, after reading it, I found myself completely fascinated and actually continued to think about it for days and even now will think about it now and then. Just little random thoughts and ideas about what makes us tick as human beings... the different factors that play a part in our perception and experience of the world. What's not fascinating about that?

I decided to take a break from the heavier reads for the time being and take on something a bit lighter so I'm now reading "The Davinci Code". Yes, ok, so I'm a tad behind the times... But hey, at least I haven't seen the movie yet. I have practiced great restraint, knowing that as with all movies based on books, watching the movie would only destroy the experience of reading the book... and as we all know, the books are always better anyways.

Let's see... what else?

This fall has brought out a different side of me. I have been a tad more quiet lately. A bit more of a loner, which... if you have ever met me is quite odd for me. Most of the time I'm very uncomfortable spending more than short bits of time with myself. They say that you can't truly find happiness in this life until you are able to sit with yourself and just be. I guess I haven't mastered that art because I find myself to be rather sad and yes... even a bit dull.

Still... there are moments when I do find peace with my thoughts. One of those moments was the other day as I was driving home over the weekend. Heading home to enjoy a relaxing afternoon at home. I was driving past this small cemetary in my neighborhood when I noticed a funeral going on.

There was nothing really special about the funeral, although on this particular day, it seemed fascinating to me and I found myself slowing down as I passed by... just so that I could watch this group of complete strangers as they mourned their love one.

I can't quite explain what the cause was, but I felt more calm and content in that moment then I have felt in a long time. It was a tad alarming... mainly because my past was filled with so much fear of death and the unknown abyss that follows, that to find myself being calmed by this scenario was a bit weird.

Could it be that I have made my peace with the inevitable fate that awaits every single one of us? Could be.

Nevertheless... it was a great moment... and as I drove away from the scene and continued on with this little life of mine.... I smiled.

:)

G