The Simple Things

I love that in a world where children are raised by electronics and TV there are still a few kids out there who can find joy in even the simplest of things.

You wouldn't believe the fun a group of kids can have with a rake, a shovel, and a yard full of fall leaves. Don't believe me? TRY IT!

Magic

Tonight as I was kicking back relaxing with the two most amazing people in my life I had one of those incredibly powerful moments of realization that one only experiences perhaps a handful of times throughout the course of their life.

You know the ones I'm talking about... the ones that you feel from the deepest part of your core... the ones that make you feel closer to truth (whatever that means) than anything else in the world... and although you can't quite find the words to pinpoint it or form it into something quite tangible... you "Know" it... and you "Feel" it...

We happened to be watching the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium at the time. Now... I wasn't expecting all that much from this movie. In fact, if I remember correctly it received quite dreadful reviews when it hit the box office. However, I'm not sure if it was just the feeling in the air tonight... or the fact that I was watching it with my kids... but it touched me... deeper than any movie I have seen recently... to the point where I was actually in tears throughout it's entirety... each new chapter of the story bringing with it a fresh wave of thought and feeling.

As crazy as it probably sounds... and although I am firmly in touch with the reality in this world (well at least I think I am)... There has always been this small part of me that believes that the world is a magical place. Oh sure, it may not be magical in a way that only hollywood or Walt Disney himself could portray... but it's there... if you stop and give your self a chance to see it.... and feel it.

In the notes of a song... or the way the light falls through the leaves of a tree... or the look on a child's face as they take in the world around them... The only word that can possibly be used to describe moments like this is indeed, "Magical".

Too often I forget what it was like to look at the world from my own eyes as a child. To see and feel the magic in every single moment... so much so that time itself stands still.

There is this great quote that I am reminded of...

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
-- Abraham Lincoln

On this night, I spent the rest of the evening giggling and kissing and hugging these little people in my life with a feeling of gratitude for all that they remind me of about Life and Love... and Magic :)

We ended the night with more kisses and wishes for sweet dreams... and as I lie here and type this to you all... There is a single happy tear in the corner of my eye.

Goodnight My Friends... Sweet Dreams

Soccer Champ

My little man started soccer this fall with the Salt Lake Firebirds.

He has always had a natural talent with the sport, even at a young age.

This was snapped at his second game of the season.

Go Joshie!

Something I have to get out...

I just have to get this out...

For all of you men out there who think it timely or sweet to use the following quote,

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

while breaking up with a girl...

Unless there is a terminal illness or an untimely death involved in the happenings surrounding the mentioned breakup... Or unless you plan on disappearing permanently from the face of the planet... the quote simply DOES NOT APPLY.

So please... for your sake and the sake of every woman out there who ever has been or ever will be dumped by the person who holds their heart...

The next time you feel the need to use this in some pathetic attempt to soften the blow of your message or try to throw a little rainbow into the shit of the situation... Just spare us ok?

This public service announcement brought to you by the Letters F and U and the number 1

Thank you... and have a wonderful day.

P.S - It feels really good to get that out... It's been weighing heavily on my mind for a few weeks now. :)

Autumn Bliss

Even in the most trying and tumultuous of times...

A moment of peace is found in the simplicity of
taking a step back, and breathing in
the beautiful world that all of us are so incredibly fortunate to be a part of.

Life as a Fairy Tale

I have doing much pondering lately about life and love.  Not surprising as I'm sure it's more than common for one who has recently been told by the person who held their heart that they were never really "In Love".

I have gone through the phases of mourning for that relationship.  The stages of unbearable hurt, complete and total numbness and finally the moment of acceptance.  I keep hoping for the moment of forgiveness... where all will be forgotten and I will finally be able to look upon the man that broke my heart and feel nothing but appreciation for the time we had... for the moments we shared (albeit tainted with the feeling that the love I thought existed was nothing more than my own feelings being reflected). 

But alas... It ceases to come.

The pondering continues though... I have to admit I have moments of pessimism about the very thought of this so called Love thing that is supposed to be so wonderful.  I read about it in books... I hear it in songs... this love that is spoken of that is so deep and so undying... and yet here I am left wondering if that love really is possible?  Or is it merely a figment of my (and apparently many others) imagination?

I want to believe... I want it with all my heart to believe that it's true.  Perhaps it is because it is real to me... in my heart... that desire to love so deeply... so permanently that the bond simply cannot be broken... but in addition the desire to be loved as much in return.  To know that the person is so devoted to me that it hurts them to imagine a world without me in it.  

Perhaps this is not a healthy way to look at things... the rational part of myself keeps reminding me of that on a daily basis.  Perhaps in my own naivety I have fallen for a fairy tale that could never really exist in the reality in which we all exist... but as I look around at life I can't imagine it an impossibility for us crazy humans... who are filled with so much passion and lust for life that we are capable of not only the worst atrocities but of the most amazing expressions of love imaginable.  

Is it not the very core of our humanity that drives us to love so deeply?  

At times it feels as if giving up on this one thing... the belief in Love in and of itself would be a betrayal of the very thing that makes us human.

And yet... I see it so rarely in this world that I am lead to believe that either we have somehow made the choice to ignore it as a possibility in ourselves... perhaps in exchange for a charmed life filled with instant gratification and the next biggest / best thing or maybe... just maybe... most of us have simply forgotten that it even exists at all.... living our lives in the daily grind... relying on logic and rational thought instead of using intuition or the feelings inside to even have a voice at all.

The only spark of "knowing" exists in the fact that I see it in myself... not only in the love that I feel for my children (obviously a different kind of love) but also in the fact that the desire is still there to experience that level of Love... 

Is it not simply a matter of "I think... Therefore I am"?

I want to believe... I have to believe...