What Do I Want???

Yes, there it is... the one question to top them all. The one question that is posed so often in life, and yet to have an answer to it seems so out of reach most of the time.

I can't tell you how many times I have been asked that question in my life. From friends, lovers, enemies... and most often, myself. The bit of comedy surrounding this is that of those who have posed this question to me, most of them would tell you that my answer was always the ever so classic Gwen line "I Don't Know". (And yes, for those of you who know me, I know you are snickering as you read this.)

The other side to this is that in all those cases, my answer of "I Don't Know" was truly the most honest answer I had to give ... because in all reality I had absolutely no clue what I wanted.

Looking at where I am now, I realize that I still struggle with the answer to that question... and perhaps I always will. After all, even if I was to know precisely what I want at this very moment, isn't it possible that at some point in the future, whether it be a few minutes from now or years down the road, that the whole concept of "What I Want" will completely change?

So you are probably scratching your head at this point and wondering to yourself, "Dear Lord, What Does She Want?"

And my answer is this....

I want what every woman wants...

World Peace

And... Oh yeah... A man in my life with the looks of Brad Pitt, the understanding of what I really need, and the desire to make my every wish come true...

Uhhh hummm...

OK... Ok... I know it's a little far fetched...

I'm really ok with settling for the Brad Pitt part... (snicker)

So what is it really that I want?

What I can say is this...

I know that I long to be inspired... not just by some cheesy self help book or some sappy movie I watch... but to truly be inspired, by everything... and not just the big things, but by the little things... The smiles from my beautiful kids... the way the air changes when the seasons change... the sound the wind makes as it rustles through the leaves of my trees... absolutely all of it.

I do realize that the only thing keeping me from that is me. Because it's out there... staring me right in the face... shouting at me with everything it's got... but I have to be open to it. I have to be willing to see it... to hear it... and to feel it.

I know that I also long to be inspiring. To be the type of person that touches the lives around me in a way that it makes them long to experience life to the fullest. I think about so many people who have inspired me in my life...each one in their own way. Some of them I have known for years... others perhaps I know only from a meeting of eyes as we crossed in a crowded place, or as I watched them perform some small miracle that, most of the time, would be completely overlooked.

Perhaps it's not so complex as it seems... perhaps the answers to life really are as simple as just opening one's eyes to the beauty that surrounds each and every one of us every moment of the day.